Fast Food Makes You Stupid Says Vanderbilt University

Geez! I just thought fast food made you fat. Now, Vandebilt University in Tennessee says that fast food makes you stupid too. Bummer.

The researchers did a study which involved tracking what these 10 and 11 year old kids ate and how they scored on tests. How exactly they did that, I am not sure. In any case, they kept up with over 5000 kids and their food selections and test scores.

Kids who ate fast food 3 times a week scored 7 points lower on reading than those who ate fast food less often. More fast food - lower scores. Similar results on math.

I'd love to see the original data on this study. The writer who covered the story mentioned that School Food Trust (government funded) had suggested banning kids from leaving school at lunch time. And, this, I suppose, would cut down on kids eating fast food or junk food.

Perhaps schools in Tennessee serve balanced school meals. Around here, the kids go get in the junk food line at school. The choices are either pizza or a fried chicken sandwich with a side of Tator Tots. Although I'm not a nutritionist, I'm not seeing how that's any better than a Big Mac and fries other than the school portions are skimpy, and I have to feed the boys again when they get home.

Moral: Maybe school tests make you crave fast food.

Bringing Back Hope . . . or the Death of a Goldfish

One of my son's buddies was running for high school student body president and had a very clever idea for his speech. He would bring back hope.

He brought out his fish bowl and explained that the fish was named Hope. Everyone oh'ed and ad'ed of course. Fish are so cute.

The idea here was that the potential president would swallow Hope the fish and then cough her back up. In other words, he would bring Hope back to the school.

This all went very well during the practice sessions. Hope went up and down and up and down. No problem.

Unfortunately, the politician-to-be did not try doing his short speech part while holding down Hope, so when it was time for Hope to return, Hope was not so cooperative.

Uh oh.

The only water on stage was in the fish bowl. Ugh. Fishy water. But, the candidate swallowed water and more water and gagged and tried and tried to return Hope to his school. But, he only managed to cover the stage with vomit but no Hope.

Teachers, not having the greatest senses of humor, expelled the poor guy for a week. And, he was disqualified as a candidate.

Moral: Don't bite off more than you can chew or swallow a fish if you plan to talk a while before coughing it back up.

Now We Know Why That Red Bull Gives Us a Buzz

Germany is none too happy about the results of tests on Red Bull Cola. Seems they found "traces of cocaine" in there.

The laced soda out of Austria actually has decocainised coca leaf (or basically cocaine). Levels are considered safe though per the FDA of Europe.

Still, the Germans are not impressed. They've banned Red Bull in six states. Now, aren't they the ones who enjoy some stout beer?

Ah well. I guess we all choose our poisons.

Red Bull of the U.S. does want to make sure that buyers know that the product tested was European Red Bull Cola.

"We believe that Asian authorities mistakenly applied concerns about Red Bull Simply Cola to Red Bull Energy Drink, a completely different product with an entirely different formula...de-cocainized coca leaf extracts are used as flavoring in food products around the world and are considered to be safe. Indeed, in 21 C.F.R. 182.20, the Food and Drug Administration regulations provide that it is acceptable and safe to use de-cocainized coca in food products in the United States," notes Red Bull Energy Drink.

Fat Cockroaches, Pricey Ice, and a Cupcake Cop - Strange Food News

Are the McDonalds Cockroaches Fatter Than the Ones at Subway?

This must have been one of the roaches on a healthy diet.

Well, I can’t really tell you about cockroaches at specific fast food joints, but Patricia Moore at the University of Exeter in the UK tells us that a decade of research proves that roaches fed poor diets turn out to be fatties. Exeter is, by the way, The Times Higher University of the Year 2007/2008. Perhaps they actually meant that they stay high most of the time over there if this is the kind of cutting edge research they’re conducting.

Moral: Leave junk food out for your roaches and maybe they will get too fat to fit bck through your cracks the next night.




50 Cents – No, Not the Rap Singer – That’s the Charge Per Ice Cube in Your Cocktail

I hope you do not notice that big ice charge on your check. It's really not my idea sweetie.

Better take your liquor straight up at Morton’s Steakhouse in Midtown. Not only do they charge you around $15 for a cocktail, they’re tagging on $2.50 if you want that on the rocks. Better yet – you may just want to toss back a few before you eat there. They try to explain all that by saying they go heavier on the liquor with a “rock” pour. Good come back I guess, but I’m not buying it.

Moral: Ask for a discount if you do belly button shots. After all, you’re saving someone from washing a glass, and time is money too. Plus, you don’t need ice in your belly button.




Santa Claus is Fat and My Kids Can’t Have that Birthday Cupcake

Yes! Cupcakes are of the devil, and I am telling God and the police on you for being a junk food junkie pusher.

“Happy Birthday to You . . . . la la . . .” But, do not give my kid a cupcake or sprinkles to go on the ice cream. And, send that juice pop home in her Tupperware container provided to bring home the evidence of child abuse at her kids’ school. Never mind that the juice pop will melt (and aren’t juice pops pretty healthy anyway?) Send it home for inspection and proof.

MeMe Roth isn’t satisfied with dictating her own kids’ food intake, she thinks she has the right to push her agenda off on everyone else. She even ran off with the sprinkles and sauce for the ice cream at the YMCA in 2007, and the police had to be called.

Moral: God is great. God is good. Let us thank him for the ice cream and that MeMe Roth isn’t our mother. Amen.

Half Fast Cooks of the World Unite

My Granny was not a kitchen goddess. She was, as her favorite collectable plate stated, the Half Fast Cook.

I am not a fast cook.
I am not a slow cook.
I amd a half fast cook.

Kitchen plates were popular with Granny's generation, and my Grandma (Mom's side) had a plate that said, "Two things are always open. Grandma's arms and Grandma's kitchen." I ended up with that plate and love it, but Granny's plate is the one that always makes me laugh.

I guess I got genes from both sides when it comes to the kitchen. I love to cook when I'm in the mood. When I'm not in the mood, I don't feel a bit bad about picking up a pizza. I would feel better about having it delivered, but since I live out in the middle of nowhere, they don't even deliver out here. That's a sorry state of affairs huh?

My favorite type of cooking is outdoor cooking, and I have my own grill and barbecue site called Yes You Can Grill and also a new cooking space with old family favorites called Yes You Can Cook. What you'll get with both of those sites are common sense ideas, tips, recipes, and product reviews.

Half Fast Cook?

Well, this is where I play with my food and put my elbows on the table. You'll find all kinds of random fun stuff about cooking and food and maybe a half fast recipe from time to time.