Top 10 – Why I Try NOT to Shop at Wal-Mart
I know the prices are low at Wal-Mart. They have a huge selection of goods. It’s one-stop shopping – everything from getting a haircut and eyes checked to tires changed and groceries for the week.
Still, I dread going to Wal-Mart. My hands start to sweat before I even get in the parking lot. By the time I’m in the door, I’ve lost my list and stepped in chewing gum. It goes downhill from there.
Here are the first 10 things that I hate most about Wal-Mart:
1. There’s always a big woman with children parked sideways rather than lengthwise with an overflowing cart on the isle I need to visit. I have these visions of a fire breaking out and no way possible to get around the dysfunctional family gathered in the kitchenware isle.
2. They hide the candy at Wal-Mart. All normal stores have candy with the food. Wal-Mart puts it over next to the toys - clear across the store from the groceries. By the time I get back over to the candy (which I always forget is on the other side), I’ve burned enough calories to justify eating the candy on the way home. Then, I have no candy and need to go back to Wal-Mart.
3. Wal-Mart shoppers must go through a lot of toilet paper. If they have normal size packs of TP, I never find those. I end up with a 24 roll pack that takes up the whole cart. If I need paper towels too, then I can’t even see around all that paper balanced precariously on top of my other stuff.
4. The soda pops on sale are always stacked so high that I can’t reach the top to get a 24 pack which is darn heavy to start with. One day I’m sure I will inch it forward, the cube of Pepsi will topple off and bean me – or worse some poor kid who happens to walk by at the wrong time.
5. Does Wal-Mart milk their own cows? They sure think highly of the milk based on the prices. They charge more than any store in town, and I’m sure it’s because they know no one wants to make another stop just for lower priced milk. That’s OK though. I still go to the BP and save a buck or two.
6. The person with “the key” is never handy at Wal-Mart. Not only do they lock the glass cases with games, they have figured out how to lock the little displays with things like media cards and batteries. These do not look locked, and it took me about 15 minutes to figure it out. The security tape will probably show up on YouTube one of these days – confused lady turns media card pack every direction before figuring out she needs to find key man.
7. How do you buy stuff outside at Wal-Mart when they don’t have a cash register out there? Do you load up all that mulch and cow manure and haul it inside and around the store, or do you tell the cashier that you want some random stuff outside? This is a mystery and why I get bags of yard materials at the Farm Bureau.
8. They do clean the bathrooms at Wal-Mart. I can attest to that. Every time I happen to need to go (which I try very hard not to have to do), there’s a sign up saying the bathroom is closed for cleaning. It’s never the men’s bathroom, which I would guess needs cleaning more than the ladies room though I could be wrong on that. I’ve been sorely tempted to run in the men’s bathroom real quick, but I’m restrained myself – so far.
9. That bag roulette wheel at Wal-Mart is just plain odd. I’m putting my stuff on the conveyer belt, getting out my credit card, swiping and signing. Meanwhile, my purchases are going in bags and circling around like those ducks at the country fair. I always wonder if I missed a bag and probably have.
10. That beep, beep, beep thing that goes off when I go out the door at Wal-Mart drives me nuts. Let’s announce to the world that Cyndi and her kids are shoplifters. Of course we’re not. It’s always some random little something clearly marked on the receipt. In fact, we look so NOT like shoplifters that we usually get waved right through but only after everyone looks to see who got nailed by the happy Wal-Mart greeter Granny.
It’s not all bad at Wal-Mart, and I do shop there when I can’t find an excuse to get out of it. When I actually catch my breath enough to look around, I see some most interesting people. Today we ended up behind a prostitute I’m pretty sure. I yelled, “Don’t look Ethel” and covered the boys’ eyes. We ducked down the bread lane and blocked the isle talking to a couple of kids I taught at the college. I’m glad a fire did not break out, and I’m sorry for anyone who was wanting bagels. It’s the Wal-Mart way.
Moral of the Story - If I need anything THAT bad and they do not have it here other than Wal-Mart I will try to buy it online. If I must go to Wal-Mart I close my eyes and run like the devil is on my heels.
